If you are a working mother, there’s a good chance you struggle with “mother’s guilt.” You may feel guilty for working too much and not spending enough time with your children, or you may feel guilty because you would prefer to be at work than at home with your children. Regardless of the reason, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a mother’s guilt. It hurts to the core of your being, and it can be so overwhelming that it harms your relationships and disrupts your happiness.
The truth is that working and raising children is not easy to do in this country. The cost of childcare makes parents question whether a dual income is even worth it. And even though men are beginning to have stronger roles in parenting, the responsibility of the children continues to fall primarily on the mother. So whether you love your job or hate it, juggling kids, life, and work remains extremely difficult.
Are you so busy that you are spinning? Do you live with a constant “to-do” list in your head? Are you afraid that something will fall through the cracks at any minute? Balancing all of your needs and those of your family’s may, at times, seem impossible--especially if you are running on empty. Therefore, it is very important to daily set aside time that is just for you.
Maternal guilt is a very primal emotion, and despite its torture, it has a profound purpose. It forces mothers to seek what’s best for their young. Therefore, sometimes guilt can be a warning signal that you need to make a change in your life. When you take care of your own emotional and physical needs, you are better able to take care of your children’s needs. And in order to create a healthy work-family balance, it is essential to be clear-headed and restored. This means alone-time, proper rest, sufficient exercise, proper nutrition, and time with friends. Sound impossible? Maybe according to the unattainable, day-to-day lists you have set up for yourself. But there is always something you can let go of or pass off to someone else. It may require uncomfortable change, but your peace and sanity are well worth it.
Being a working mother is not valued enough in our society. Women are expected to play both male and female roles. And while there have been many brave people before us who fought hard for women in the workforce, it is still a challenge. It’s a gift to be able to work, and it’s a gift to be a mother. Finding a healthy dance between the two can make this time one of the most rewarding times of your life. Don’t stress it away! The child-rearing part will be gone before you know it. Once you are able to find space and time for your own nurturing, you will be able to appreciate every part of this journey. I can help you organize your thoughts so you can start organizing your life. Contact me today to schedule an appointment in my Longmont or Boulder, CO, office.
